Some thoughts on reclaiming your personal power by integrating your Inner Critic. This is a talk I gave on Women’s Empowerment Day at The World of the Write Review.
Okay, who is feeling stressed?
I think pretty much all of us right now, right? There are some fantastic resources out there from people who offer amazing free meditative content. Check out the free meditations offered by Tara Brach, and the EFT tapping meditations offered by The Tapping Solution.
And if you’d like to hear a guided meditation in a friendly and familiar voice (mine) I’ve recorded one for you here.
Find a place where you can be undisturbed for about fifteen minutes. Close your eyes, and just listen and breathe. There is no right or wrong way to do this. You might see pictures, or you might not. If your mind wanders, remember that minds tend to do that and just bring it back to follow my voice.
If you find this helpful, please feel free to share.
The Terrifying Business of Writing
Does the thought of creating a business plan make your teeth hurt?
When people start talking about marketing do you want to stick your fingers in your ears and hum?
And when it comes to tax season—be honest now—have you ever thought about just abandoning everything and fleeing the country?
You know what? It doesn’t have to be that way. The business of writing can actually be creative and fun! Even if you believe that you have no business sense, even if you have a love hate (or even just straight up hate) relationship with money and/or planning, you can move past that place of fear and hate and form a happy, loving relationship with your business life and your finances.
Trust me…if I can make that shift, you can too.
From Business Avoider to Business Enthusiast
I spent most of my life avoiding anything that had to do with math, bank accounts, business planning, or really planning of any kind. When it came to financial stuff I did what I had to do to make sure my bills got paid without overdrafting, but beyond that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with business details. Sure, I wanted to be a successful, full time writer but in my imagination all of those icky money details just were kind of magically taken care of.
But then, because dreams do come true, after years of pretty much paying to write I actually started making money from my books. And then, because even big dreams do come true, I made enough money from a book that it became important and necessary to pay attention to my money, because it was now supporting me and I wanted that state of affairs to continue.
Realizing that fear and avoidance were not going to serve me, I went out looking for boring and painful—but necessary—business advice, and ended up discovering magic that dispelled the fear and brought me into a surprisingly easy alignment with the business side of things. I started having fun with marketing as a creative endeavor. I kept better track of money in and money out. I planned things for my business instead of just acting randomly and hoping I’d get something right.
When I walked out of my tax accountant’s office with a smile on my face, feeling proud of the way I’d managed my finances, I was blown away by the transformation. In past years when I went in to get my taxes done, I would squirm like a kid in the principle’s office, ashamed and guilty and hoping to slide a few things under the radar.
What made the difference
It started with a mindset shift I learned from Jill Badonsky, spokeswoman for the Modern Day Muses and founder of Kaizen-Muse coaching. This one is really simple but so profoundly transformative. Change “I have to” to “I get to.” In this case, that means “Hey, I get to manage my own money!” And, “Hey, I get to market my own books!” Or, “Hey, I get to be way smarter about my taxes!” Try it out for yourself and you’ll see how much better it feels to phrase things this way.
I had a ton of fun learning marketing strategies from Bushra Azhar. This powerhouse founder of The Persuasion Revolution is brilliant at infusing humor and laughter into the business world, and as you are probably already aware, it’s almost impossible to be fearful and resistant when you are laughing and having fun.
My hands down favorite money matters go to person is money mindset mentor Denise Duffield Thomas. I’ve taken all of her courses, and since her policy is that if you pay once you can repeat as many times as you wish, I’ve done multiple rounds of her Money Bootcamp and Sacred Money Archetypes programs. Denise taught me to forgive myself for my mistakes, to use EFT Tapping protocols to decrease my anxiety and calm my inner critic, and that falling in love with money can mean freedom to do more good in the world.
I’m not going to even try to teach you everything I’ve learned from these people because you’d be much better served to get it directly from them! Sign up for Jill’s newsletter. Listen to Denise’s podcast and follow her blog. Get on Bushra’s email list.
Avoidance Casts a Huge Shadow
Just find a way to get past the avoidance, because avoidance turns challenges into monsters. The other day I was feeling anxious about a money thing I’d been neglecting, and when I actually went and looked at it, there wasn’t even a problem! I immediately felt better. And when there are problems, it feels so much better to take small steps towards resolving them.
Of course, all of this getting past fear and loving my business is a work in progress and I’m still subject to little frissons of anxiety. A couple of weeks ago, on the recommendation of my friend Barbara Samuel, I grabbed a copy of Leonie Dawson’s My Shining Year Business Goal’s Workbook.
As you can see, it’s very friendly looking and non-threatening. But then I opened it and OH MY GOD. The author asked me to review my business year. Like, seriously. How much income in every month? What strategies were most effective? What worked? What didn’t work?
And I regressed to wanting to go hide under my covers again!
Everything is Better With Companions
So I did my tapping and forgiving and breathing and meditating and had another look. I even started putting in some numbers. But I thought – this would be so much easier and so much more fun with companionship along the way.
Which is why I’m starting a private Facebook group for any other writers who would like to be part of a safe space to cultivate business magic together. This is a totally free thing with no strings attached. I plan to hold space, offer a forum for conversation, and teach some EFT and forgiveness work to make it all easier. I’ll be working through the Shining Year Book and you are invited to do the same—but you’re welcome in the group whether you want to do this or not.
Want to join me? Sign up here and I’ll add you to the group.
Now, go pat your business monster on his furry head. He’s not so scary. All he wants is a little love and attention.
Donald M Rattner is not your average architect. He's spent years studying the impact of the physical environment on creativity and innovation and has just released a beautiful book on the subject called My Creative Space: How to Design Your Home to Stimulate Ideas and Spark Innovation.
Because I’m lucky (and because I’m connected to Authors on the Air which offers opportunities like this) I got to hop on the phone with Donald for a podcast interview.
And you’re also lucky - because you get to listen in!
Donald shared his best tips on easy and inexpensive ways to leverage your creative process by making changes to your environment. The bad news for authors is that writing in your Pajamas might not actually be the best creative choice.
Check it out here:
You can get your own copy of My Creative Space here (and yes, you totally want one. This is a gorgeous book, besides being wise and informative and helpful). For more information about Donald, check out his website.
I first met Dacia Arnold in a class that I was teaching at the Colorado Gold writer’s conference in Denver. What I was teaching didn’t answer her questions—so she went out and created a class that did! You’ll hear the whole fun story in this episode of the Creativity Quest podcast (keep scrolling for download and links to popular podcast apps.) Dacia inspired me with her energetic and action oriented approach to the creative process and I believe she will inspire you too!
Here’s the short form of this amazing woman’s bio:
Dacia M Arnold is an award-winning American novelist, freelance writer, mother, and ten-year Army Veteran. She is the author of Apparent Power, Reactance and Shifting Power, and a small collection called The Brightest Firefly. As a freelance writer, Dacia contributes monthly to the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writer’s blog where she shares her relatively short experience in the literary world. She will never turn down an invitation to karaoke, because she is here to party but also be in bed by 8pm. Dacia’s pipedream is to one day narrate an episode of “Drunk History” and tell the story of “The Unsinkable” Molly Brown. Until then her friends must suffer through unsolicited rehearsals.
You can find out more about Dacia and her books on her website: www.daciamarnold.com